A lot of my younger childhood I cannot remember. Meaning 0-6. I have faint memories but its mostly all of a blur. I was born on February 24, 1990. My birth name was Tori Lynn Fullerton. (stay posted to see why it changed). My parents both happen to be addicts. I have 5 siblings from my mom and 3 siblings from my dad. LET ME FIRST SAY THIS. I am not writing this to bag on my parents or siblings at all. I love my family dearly and I hope they know that. I am writing this simply because I truly have had a very difficult life and I would like to think that I have come out on top. My hope is that I can help other people share their story and know that they are not the only ones who have suffered or are suffering.
This is a picture when I was 5 and my little brother Jesse was 4.
My Mom and Dad got divorced when I was young. I don't even know what age I was. The only memory I have of my Mom and Dad together is one night. This night my Mom had been drinking and I am not sure what my Dad did to piss her off but I remember dishes being thrown at him from the kitchen..... and than the rest is blank. I have vivid memories of playing in the streets with my brothers whom happened to be my best and only friends. We stuck together through all of the shit we had been put through. After Mom and Dad divorced I remember Mom got really heavy into drinking and started using pills. At that point my siblings and I lost our mom (not dead). Mom was consumed by her substances and was asleep or drunk all the time from what I remember. MOM & DAD if you are reading this please don't be offended. We grew up all over Provo Utah. The one place I remember living was across the street from Franklin Elementry. I remember going to school (Kindergarten) and standing at the corner of the play ground staring at my house just crying for my mom because the other kids called me Pippy Long Stocking. My brother Shane (1 year older than I am) did my hair before school because Mom was passed out. I was told I stunk and looked like a dork. I HATED WHO I WAS. I just wanted to be liked and have friends.
I had two older sibling (10 years older than I was). I again don't remember much of them growing up. My brother and sister both started using and drinking at young ages as well. My sister had her first baby at 15 or 16 yrs old and I remember going over to her apartment and watching the baby sometimes. I think I was six at this time. One night while over at that apartment my sisters boyfriend was throwing a party. I was in the bedroom with Taya (the baby) sleeping. I remember the room was dark and the music was loud from the living room and the bedroom door had opened and a man came in and shut the door behind him. I don't remember anything else from that night. I woke up that next morning hiding behind the bedroom door crying and hiding my underwear from my sister. I was raped that night by a man named Scott. I remember going to the Dr's but again everything else is a HUGE blur.
My memories hurt. I wish i could remember the good things from living with Mom and Dad but I don't. I remember hiding with my brothers in the top of the closet to get away from all the crazy people in and out of the home. I remember Mom spilling her pills and yelling at my younger brothers and I to pick them up. I remember the house being raided and lots and lots of men in and out of our lives.
Fast forward just a little bit. Im not sure where my brothers and I were at this time but someone came to the facility we were being watched at and took us to a home. At that home we were told that we would not be living with our Mom anymore and that we were most likely going to be split up in the foster care system unless we could find a family member to come and take us all in. We called our Grandma Donna. She later came and picked my brothers and I up and we started our journey of growing up in her and grandpa's home.
